When I was younger, I would walk to the local comic book store to buy my favorite volumes and add them to my collection. (This was back when my town actually had a local comic book store. Nowadays, they’re in short supply.) One day, when I returned home with my purchases after hours spent browsing, I showed my prizes to my parents in delight. Instead of being happy for me, like I thought they would be, they gazed at the cover of one of my selections in rising horror. The character on this cover was none other than Venom.
I can’t exactly blame my parents for flipping out. Venom looks scary and definitely not something you would expect your 8-year-old daughter to gravitate toward. Venom’s sharp, pointed teeth, lash-like tongue, and slimy, black skin do not cause it to appear like anything friendly. But I couldn’t help it that Venom was one of the primary villains that super hero Spider-Man had to face. Ever since his premiere, Venom has been a fan-favorite villain for our friendly neighborhood wall-crawler to go up against. I know I enjoyed comic book issues where they fought, even if my parents had to vet the issue before I could get my hands on them.
Despite being an intriguing and spooky foe, there are certain aspects about Venom that puzzle the brain. It might be the big bad guy on campus, but it is also one of the most nonsensical alien symbiotes to ever grace a comic book page. (Not that there are many alien symbiotes around, but you know what I mean.) Read on if you want to figure out why Venom makes little to no sense.
25 There Is Not Just One Of It
Venom comes from a race of alien symbiotes that have their own planet and everything. The planet is called Klyntar, but calling Venom a Klyntarian does not sound as cool as calling it an alien symbiote.
If Klyntar is completely composed of symbiotes that require a host to truly survive, how has Venom’s race made it this long? Do they invite unwitting hosts to come on down and spend some time on their planet? I would hate to be trapped on a planet with nothing but Venoms around me.
24 Done And On To The Next One
When Venom attaches itself to a host, it lends its target the strength it naturally has. (That’s a lot of “its” to have in a sentence, but I can’t help it if Venom is gender-less.) When Venom coupled with Spider-Man, its strength was enhanced more than normally and it gained access to Spider-Man’s skill set.
When Venom left Spider-Man, it took his abilities with it and transferred them to his next host. But if that’s the way symbiotes work, wouldn’t Venom be unstoppable at some point? I mean, I know Venom cohabited with nearly all of the Guardians of the Galaxy. Why isn’t Venom all-powerful now?
23 Venom Chameleon
You want to know what’s creepier than an alien symbiote that can take over your body while simultaneously sporting a wicked set of teeth? How about an alien symbiote with all those attributes that can also camouflage with the environment?
When Venom so desires, it can blend in with its surroundings so that he can get the jump on his enemies. Seriously, how many more abilities does this thing need to be any scarier? I feel like telling Venom to take it easy. It is already scarier than a fully sufficient alien would be.
22 A Venomous Snake
The name Venom is not simply for show. Those teeth that it likes to use to leer at its enemies are also fully functional. Venom has venomous teeth.
Those snarling fangs of his have crazy uses.
Venom has used its teeth to poison opponents, not only to take enormous chunks out of their body. I wish I could go back to the days when I just thought that Venom was trying too hard to appear scary. Now I can’t stop looking at his smile without thinking he has a never-ending row of snake fangs.
21 Who Is The Stronger Alien?
Marvel and DC have occasional crossovers, and in one of these, Superman and Spider-Man team up to fight Venom. This crossover made little sense because Superman got his cape handed to him by Venom. Venom should have only been as strong as Spider-Man.
Superman is the kind of guy who can move planets, and yet for some reason, Venom gave him trouble. That’s the kind of issue you run into when you plan crossovers and you forget to take into account your heroes’ differing levels of strength.
20 Controlling Hosts Like Puppets
Spider-Man began to be wary of his new black costume after he woke up feeling exhausted on nights when he should have gotten a ton of sleep. His suspicion was warranted. Venom had been taking Peter Parker’s body out for joyrides at night without him being aware of it. How is that even possible?
Venom was out fighting crime, and yet Peter remained conked out for most of it. You would think the shock of punching criminals and web-slinging through the city would have woken Peter up. And why would Venom do that if it was trying to remain incognito?
19 The Ultimate Eradicator
Eddie Brock was truly down on his luck when Venom found him. He had lost his job and his family in a short amount of time, and he had also found out that he was ill from cancer. Luckily (or unluckily if you look at it from a certain point of view), Eddie met Venom, and Venom was able to stop the effects of Eddie’s tumor from negatively affecting him.
So you see, Venom is a kind of healer. Though why Venom, as a symbiote looking for viable hosts, would choose a sickened Eddie Brock is beyond me.
18 Who Needs A Sword When You’ve Got An Arm?
Venom does not need its teeth or its newfound Spider-Man abilities to hurt you. It can also morph its limbs into the shape of weapons that it can then use to harm people. Seriously, what kind of symbiote is this? Does Venom even need a host to attach to anymore if it can just pull these tricks out of its sticky, black goo-ness?
Maybe it is a small comfort to think the random hand cannon Venom can create will get to you before his fangs do. Well, it’s a small comfort for me. Those teeth are creepy.
17 Working For Uncle Sam
In the comics, the government thought that hiring Venom as an agent would be a fantastic idea. I feel like shaking them furiously and checking their mental stability for that decision. But…honestly, it didn’t turn out too badly.
The government supervised Venom’s bonding with crippled veteran Flash Thompson. Together, the two of them became Agent Venom, and they actually did loads of good. Who is this good-guy Venom, and where has it been all my life?
16 Dude, Where’s My Venom Mobile?
The definition of the word “symbiote” is an organism that lives off of another organism. Part of having a symbiotic relationship is that both halves, the parasite and the host, have to be living organisms. That does not stop Venom from bonding with a vehicle and turning itself into the Venom Mobile.
Sometimes I wish I was joking about these kinds of things. Comic books can be a zany experience, and an alien symbiote latching onto a car and transforming it is the least crazy thing you can hope to find in them.
15 Venom: Former Good Guy
Venom has a tragic backstory. (It’s a comic book character, what else would you expect?) Back on its home planet of Klyntar, Venom was exiled for wishing to bond and form partnerships with its hosts. The other members of Venom’s race believed that it was better to take over hosts completely.
What happened to Venom’s ideals then? When Venom arrives on Earth, it seems pretty set on taking over Peter Parker’s body. If it ended up wanting the same things as its fellow Klyntarians, why was it exiled in the first place?
14 The Softest Spandex
Venom is the weirdest alien parasite I’ve ever encountered. Instead of worming its way inside a host’s body, it becomes fabric. Bet you never really thought about that before.
Venom spends most of its time as a suit.
What kind of living creature can exactly mimic the feel of spandex? A better question would be what living creature would want to mimic fabric. Let’s not forget that Venom has also become a rumpled suit jacket and pants when it was trying to remain hidden on its host.
13 The Cosmic Super Parasite
After Venom and Flash Thompson’s stint as Agent Venom, the two of them began roaming the Cosmos. They became, for all intents and purposes, cosmic heroes. They did good. They preserved the balance of things out in space.
Who would have thought that, with a face like Venom’s, the two of them could have gone out and saved people’s lives? I want to know how you can go from slaying petty thieves to rescuing the universe and its denizens. It makes no sense, am I right?
12 Bouncing Baby… Boy?
I would not have suspected that Venom could reproduce. Color me surprised. The other well-known, goopy villain that troubles Spidey, known as Carnage, is a progeny of Venom. Venom’s offspring became Carnage when it merged with a psychotic man named Cletus Kasady.
Venom eventually has to team up with Spider-Man to bring down its own child. How is it possible for an alien symbiote to have offspring, though? Did it reproduce by budding, like a sea sponge?
11 A Holy Disguise
Do you remember Venom’s penchant for disguising itself as fabric? Well, it took things to an extreme when it disguised itself as a nun’s garments in order to sneak Eddie Brock into a church.
I have a sense of humor about these things now. I look at Venom becoming a nun’s frock as just another source of amusement. But back when I was a child, I swallowed this up. But we should all remember that Venom being a nun’s outfit did happen. Who knows? Maybe the nun’s clothing will make an appearance in that new Venom movie.
10 Aqua-Venom
As seen by the creation of the Venom Mobile, Venom has broken the bounds of belief when it comes to the rules of symbiosis. If it can merge with a car, what is to stop it from merging with water?
When Venom finds itself submerged in a large body of water, it can adapt so that it respirates beneath the surface. Poor Spider-Man does not stand a chance when Venom brings the fight below the waves. As far as I’m aware, Peter Parker still needs access to oxygen like a regular human being.
9 Here’s A Leg For You
Flash Thompson used to be the bully Peter Parker had to face in high school. His story took a turn for the interesting when he became a soldier, went to Iraq, and lost his legs. Then he became the candidate to be paired with Venom. This led to the two of them partnering up and beating baddies.
When Venom was bonded with Flash, he was able to grow a pair of legs for Flash. That is not a bad arrangement to have. I think the wacky story arc of Agent Venom is severely underrated.
8 Where Does All That Webbing Come From?
After cohabiting with Peter Parker, Venom learned to replicate many of the abilities Spider-Man had. One of these abilities is web-shooting. Whereas Peter used mechanical web-shooters attached to his wrists, Venom was able to shoot out gooey black strands of webbing out of nowhere.
We know now that Venom’s webbing comes from its body. You would think after some serious webbing, Venom would lose all of his body mass due to devoting it to webbing.
7 Caring Too Much
Venom’s ire against Peter Parker stems from Peter’s rejection of it. I honestly don’t blame Peter for choosing to discard Venom once he found out it was an alien symbiote. I mean, that’s just creepy.
But Venom took the rejection to heart.
After Peter yanked the black suit off, Venom made it its life goal to get back to him and force itself upon him. Apparently, Peter Parker was a very important part of Venom’s life, and Venom did not want to lose that special someone.
6 The Dangers Of Surfing The Web
Venom really stretches the imagination for what an alien symbiote can accomplish. Turns out that Venom can surf the web quite literally. It can enter the Internet and use the Internet’s pathways to travel to different locations.
This was a one-off occurrence because I guess comic book creators realized how inane it was to have Venom do that. Plus, think of all the problems that could have been caused if moving through the Internet became one of Venom’s staple powers. He’d be unstoppable.
